Posted: March 25th, 2021
-consider a title that more carefully reflects your main idea and purpose, and distinguishes your project from the many written on this subject
-MUCH better quality sources needed than one book of essays for community college level (America Now) and some random website (you are the awesome dot com ) (encyclopedias do not count)
-unclear, confusing intro. (what do you want readers to do differently after reading your project?) — also confusing, what do you mean by “other racial discriminations are often ignored.”?
-getting into page 2, readers may understand and share your point, racism is bad, but more in-depth and specific statements and actions need to be suggested to solve the problem. (for example, you state, “people need to do something…” but you do not say what* they need to do.
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